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Old 04-01-2021, 08:41 AM   #1
tenderfoot
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4/1 News Updates

Hey, it's the first of April...

Hazard to Navigation Updates
Albany - The State Department of Transportation reminds property owners that it is their responsibility to mark hazards to navigation 500’ from shore or surface of their property line. Although most property owners are conscientious enough to mark boating hazards with the ubiquitous white clorox bottles many forgo similar practices for hazards to aviators. DOT says “our biggest concern is cell towers; if you don’t have a white clorox bottle properly secured to the top of your cell tower we may ask you to remove the structure.”

Rangers invite winter hikers back for White Tulip Festival
Braybrook - NYS DEC Rangers extend a hearty invitation to all hikers that enjoyed the High Peaks this winter to return for the inaugural White Tulip Festival, so be held the first hot day in Spring. “This seems to be a banner year for white tulips. Although the snow is just beginning to recede we have never seen such a prevalence of white tulips - especially in high use areas winter hikers most enjoyed. We just wish to share the spectacle and that is best done on a warm spring day so the delicate scent can best be enjoyed.” Rangers say this bumper crop of white tulips actually repels some of the pesky wildlife from high use areas. Oddly enough white tulips are seen as a delicacy for some domestic k9’s. “They aren’t toxic per se, but we encourage you to smell your dogs breathe after a vigorous hike in white tulip areas.”

Lost hiker turns up in NJ
Albany - A hiker that went missing in February near Henderson Lake has turned up at the Gateway National Recreation Area in NJ. After failing to check in Feb 15 DEC initiated a search of the Henderson Lake area. Although finding a campsite with the hikers gear, the search was called off after finding a large hole in the ice with a nalgene water bottle and Sawyer water filter next to it. A National Park Rangers says it is not uncommon for NY sportsmen to frequent their sandy shores: “Ice fishermen mostly, occasionally a late season snowmobiler and of course we are popular with youth sailing groups that can’t read the tide charts on their iPhone. The way we sick out into New York harbor we sort of act as a flapper on a pool filter for the Hudson river. ” Identification of the hiker is being held until he can be reunited with his family.

“Skyrider” attraction opening up at new Sensory Deprivation Center in Lake Placid
Lake Placid - WTF ventures announced it is on target for opening it’s “Skyrider” attraction in Lake Placid later this Spring. This attraction repurposes the Olympic Ski jumps (yes, both of them) as Xtreme Sport Mountain Bike Trails. This is the centerpiece of Lake Placid’s new Sensory Deprivation Center. “We are seeing a lot of tourists that seem to be deprived of their senses and we wish to cater to this new group; provide more attractions and activities focused on their unique needs. With the legalization of marijuana we fig’r we hit the nail right on the head.” Development of the project was a joint venture with people active in the “ride bikes off &!@#” community. Focus groups were able to repurpose funds originally targeted at “foamy blocks for landing zones” to the higher priority “live connection to social media.”

NYS Attorney General Investigates Fraud in ADK’s
Albany - The NYS Attorney General announced a joint investigation with the NYS Police into fraudulent use of grant monies. “As a government we are entrusted with taxpayer resources and it is important to show that we get what we pay for. The best way to do this is to conduct investigations such as this as well as the appropriate use of the term ‘monies’”. Although unable to comment on an ongoing investigation the AG was able to comment: “We have three scientific grants for field biologists to study ‘black bear predation.’ We give the scientists the money and a map of mature male black bear hibernation sites and that is the last we see of them.” The NYS Police commented that after extensive investigations they were able to seize certain assets - vehicles mostly, located at trailheads near the local of the provided maps.

NYS Health Department working with DEC to improve hiker safety
Raybrook - As an effort to improve hiker safety the DEC will be working with the NYS Health Department to install social distancing stickers every 6’ on the more popular trails this Summer. “As you are waiting for your turn to enjoy nature; it is important to remember covid precautions.” NYS also hope to eventually install traffic arrow stickers and has hired a consultant to best determine how to convert the words “left” and “right” into the metric system so we can be welcoming to Canadian tourists.

Migrants at Border Still a Concern
Plattsburgh - Despite clear communications from the Whitehouse that nothing has changed with immigration local authorities are still concerned with an influx of migrants hoping to cross the border. “We really thought things would change but there are still a lot of people who wish to emigrate to Canada. We are having trouble finding housing for them all.” When asked an immigrant who wishes to be known as “Pierre” says “With my 401K I’d have to work ten more years in the US to have a comfortable retirement. With socialized medicine in Canada I could retire, like, yesterday.”

Local Community Benefits from Weekend Resident Savvy
Piseco - At a recent town board meeting a weekend resident of Piseco NY advocated for a change in zoning. “My condo association in Manhattan has very flexible guidelines. I can pick from three different colors for my door and am free to decorate for non religious holidays. Looking around town I feel we would all benefit from some requirements for property maintenance.” After an enthusiastic response from local residents the Town Board voted at it’s Tuesday meeting to require all residences to “have some semblance of a roof” and instituted a “bidet tax of $5000.” Related improvements borrowed from Manhattan weekenders experience was a form of “rent control” that limited AirBnB rental fees to “$65 per night regardless of square footage.”

NY Upcycles to Save Costs
Albany - The Governor’s Office of Upcycling announced today that tollbooths removed from the NYS Thruway will be installed at Trailheads in the High Peaks. The initial plans do not include EZPass but State officials remain open minded.

Cascade Trailhead Rerouted to High Peaks Welcome Center
North Hudson - The little known and lesser visited High Peaks Welcome Center on I87 North is pleased to announce that it designates itself as the new trailhead for Cascade and Porter. “We listened to the public. They wanted more parking, restrooms and more time on trail - we are giving them all three.” In addition one of the vending machines will be repurposed to carry matches, maps, compasses, ponchos and flashlights.

GPS Receptivity Improvement Project
Albany - The Governor's office of Space Technology is pleased to announce that in response to hikers concerns the State will be improving GPS reception one one of its High Peaks trails this summer. After an extensive study external consultants determined that if trees, brush and general vegetation was cut back 25’ from each side of the trail reception would be unimpeded and lives could be saved. The specific trail has yet to be selected - initial surveys were hindered by incompatibility between snow and wingtips.

Fewer Black Flies this Season
Raybrook - DEC biologists expect fewer black flies this season. “Well, the black fly competes for resources with the common green bottle fly. Although breeding conditions for the black fly have not changed remarkably, there is so much human waste on trails this spring we expect common green bottle fly population to be off the freakin’ charts. The black flies will not know what hit them.”

Lean-to Upgrade
Raybrook - DEC is pleased to announce completion of its Covid-19 lean-to upgrade program. All Lean-tos on State owned land have had plexiglass shielding installed creating 8 individual bays for hiker safety. The program replaced the previously planned “Black Plague from Mice Remediation Project” originally scheduled for this year.

Have a great day!
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Old 04-01-2021, 11:11 AM   #2
saabrian
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You forgot the key 4/1 update: Governor Cuomo and commissioner Seggos announced that the DEC would be adding 40 new forest ranger positions to the Adirondacks to deal with surging hiker demand.
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Old 04-01-2021, 01:10 PM   #3
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Cannabis is legal...

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Old 04-01-2021, 01:32 PM   #4
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Cannabis is legal...

And that is the most foolish idea of all.
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Old 04-01-2021, 01:40 PM   #5
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And that is the most foolish idea of all.
LOL - how does it affect you? If you don't like it, don't buy it.

Is it because now Rangers will have to enforce real environmental issues instead of busting people for smoking weed?
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Old 04-01-2021, 01:55 PM   #6
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LOL - how does it affect you? If you don't like it, don't buy it.

Is it because now Rangers will have to enforce real environmental issues instead of busting people for smoking weed?
It probably means a lot more lost hikers he’ll have to help try & find.
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Old 04-01-2021, 06:49 PM   #7
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all such freaks need to stay away from me and my family, they need to go stay in the land of fruits and nuts. I successfully avoided that crap throughout college and beyond, and obtained and kept a great career by staying away from those with the mental disease.
What a great imitation , that show was the best.


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Old 04-01-2021, 07:12 PM   #8
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I wrote for the Chronicle in Glens Falls for many years, and the paper often had an annual April fools edition. In 2007, we ran the following article. I had friends calling me up saying "what the hell" and got some pretty nasty emails and voicemails too. Others saw the humor, once they figured it out. Sorry it's so long, enjoy.

----

Outdoors to be color coded
The Chronicle
March 29, 2007

Former Governor George E. Pataki twice vetoed legislation that would've required big game hunters in New York State to wear a minimal amount of blaze orange clothing. Now, his successor, Eliot J. Spitzer and is pushing the new "Color Coding" bill recently drawn up in the State Assembly.

If enacted, this bill would affect not only hunters but nearly all outdoorsmen and women who recreate on both public and private lands in New York State. The color coding bill, A040107D, pretty much does just that: it requires that that: hunters, anglers, trappers, snowmobilers, skiers, birdwatchers, hikers, cyclists and rock climbers may all eventually have to wear at least 300 square inches of a particular colored clothing when engaging in their favorite activity.

The color to be worn depends on which aforementioned sport or activity you happen to be participating in at the time. For each activity the state will create and sell, for a fee yet to be determined, recreational vests with a state insigne on them and reflective tape on the front and back for use in the dark or low light situations.

It has been suggested that the state seek sponsors for each category, which would generate even more funding for the program. There are concerns among critics however as to where any surplus of funds from such a program would wind up. That could be the general fund or the conservation fund but it is expected to help raise funds for outdoor recreation as part of the Governor's recent commitments to these interests.

Who's Doing What?
If passed, it is believed that the color system will help law enforcement officials easily identify who is doing what in the outdoors. For example, anglers would be required to wear a state mandated baby blue colored vest whenever and wherever and they are fishing. This will be distributed at the time you purchase your fishing license, or available at various retail outlets, and is to be worn anytime you are fishing. This, the officials say, will make it simple for law enforcement to recognize anglers from other users on the water such as boaters and paddlers and in effect becomes the visible fishing license that has been talked about recently.

All hunters of big and small game would be required to wear a blaze orange hat and also a specially designed blaze orange or orange-camo vest. The only exceptions to this rule would be turkey hunters and archers who must hang the hat or vest near their stand or calling location when in the field. Archers and turkey hunters however would be required to wear the vest while they are traveling from one location to another. Hunters are the only group required to wear a hat in addition to a vest.

A universal vest will be required by hikers, birdwatchers, snowshoers, cross-country skiers, mountain climbers, canoeist and kayakers (unless they are fishing) who will share the color red and will sport their bib-vests anytime they are participating in their favorite sport. They too will pay a fee, a first in the hiking community. Some hikers are applauding the effort and want to see their funds used for trail maintenance while others are saying that it is taxation without representation.

In some cases those who are participating in multiple sports can purchase a reversible, two-colored vest. Take for example an Adirondack brook trout angler who is trekking back to a remote pond. En route to the pond he is a hiker and will wear his red vest. Once he is actually on the water he can reverse the vest and sport his fishing baby blue color. Reversible vests will be more expensive than traditional one-colored styles.

Colors Undecided
There are two colors that are up for grabs with sponsorship being the key issue; they are fluorescent green and deep yellow. The state is hoping that snowmobile manufactures that utilize these colors will sponsor the vests, which will then become the exclusive color for snowmobilers in New York State. Since these vests must be worn outside layers of clothing they will be available in XXL and XXXL sizes as will be the baby blue angler's vest for ice fishermen.

Whichever color is not adopted by snowmobilers the other will be reserved for trappers who must not only sport their vests afield but will also have to purchase numerous tree collars to mark at least one tree within 15 feet of their trap sets. They too are not happy with this proposal, as they fear that other trappers will invade their traps or worst yet, non-trappers will vandalize their sets.

Public reaction to this bill has been slow but is expected to increase as word of the bill spreads. State officials expect an outcry and criticism of the program not just because people will be forced to wear something other than what they normally would but also because they will have to pay for it. Costs of the bib-vests are expected to be in the $10-$20 range but could be less if the State can conjure up sponsors such as those already being courted in the snowmobile field.

Material Questioned
One concern right off the bat is the quality of the garment as it is not a "one size fits all" type of thing. For example, hikers, cyclists and cross-country skiers commonly wear fleece or synthetic or high-performance clothing. The state has made no indication that they would adopt such materials for these users but if they do you can count on them being more expensive.

Summer recreational boaters are concerned about the vest. Not only will they offer up some interesting tan lines but again, the materials they are made from could prove uncomfortable in hot and humid weather. It is possible that only the driver of a motorboat will have to wear the recreational vest rather than everyone in the boat, unless they are fishing.

Again, early critics of the Recreational Vest Program feel that the state is only trying to get more money out of outdoorsmen and capitalizing on the growing interests in outdoor sports thanks to the number of natural resources in New York State. But officials contend that such a system will make law enforcement much easier and that the funds raised through the program will bring many rewards.

Another benefit for the state is that they will finally be able to get some answers as to how many people participate in a given number of outdoors sports. Vest sales should determine this and officials say there could be some surprises similar to the discovery of Country Music's popularity when the point-of-sale system went into place in the early 1990's and Garth Brooks became and instant sensation. Until then, there was no surefire way to measure record sales.

Whether this legislation is passed or not remains to be seen and likely would not become effective until 2008. As is usually the case, it will likely come through a little watered down. Suggested amendments already call for making the colors and amount to be worn mandatory but letting the each individual make their own choice in the type of garment they use. This is similar to blaze orange laws currently in place in other states.
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Old 04-01-2021, 08:29 PM   #9
Justin
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I see Neil needs to delete a few posts, you should know better guys....
We are all just kidding, after all it is 4/1 like the thread suggests, and no need to be so serious in an obvious joke of a post. I for one found if humorous as well as some of the responses. People are so damn stiff these days and should lighten up a little more. This world is tense enough as it is. Smoke a joint, relax, and mellow out everyone.
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